I’ve always thought of life as a series of
books- and within that series, a number of chapters. I began this blog at the
beginning of a book… I began that book over four years ago, in another country,
living another life. I had hopes and dreams…expectations and doubts. I did what
I could with what I had and seeked to attain what it was I didn’t yet possess.
All the while, documenting my journey wherever I could: in the margins of
novels, on restaurant napkins, in my various journals and in a more orderly
fashion- right here, on this blog.
I couldn’t have said, four years ago, where
I would be today. I couldn’t have even imagined it.
And yet, if I didn’t have this blog…I
probably would not remember now, where I was then…and all the many chapters
that made up this incredibly marvelous book. Looking back, through the countless emotions,
reflections and contemplations since I began “I Bet Elephants Taste Like
Mushrooms,” I came to a number of conclusions. It’s enlightening to witness my
own progression….my metamorphosis. I began writing this blog as one version of
myself- and now I am another. The blog has given me the opportunity to observe
my own evolution- and to, oftentimes a bit too candidly, let others into my
world. To examine how I have grown, and how in some ways, how I have I have regressed.
I am reminded of the many individuals who
have passed through my life – some leaving their mark, some leaving only a
whisper of remembrance. I am reminded of the people I have loved and of those I
have lost. The places I have been…the cities that will only ever be visited
again through photographs- and those that remain in my heart. Reading through
my blog…I have relived the memories that have formed me…the recollections of
experiences that remain with me- leaving me full of conviction and fortitude.
Most significantly, I have reached the
conclusion that these chapters are coming to a close; that this book is ending.
And I say this with a bit of sadness, as oftentimes when one finishes the last page
of a great book and has to say goodbye to the characters that have accompanied
them on a noble voyage. But again, just like a book- it is possible to one day,
go back and open the first page and begin again…recalling the emotions that lie
dormant in the back of their minds as the tiny fragments of a memory that was
once a reality.
Throughout this blog- I have loved and lost and loved again, I have felt fear and sadness, pride and contentment, I have learned an
infinite amount about an infinite number of things, I travelled a sum of
continents, discovered parts of the world- along with parts of myself, I never
knew existed. I got an MBA. I began a new career- taking all that I knew and
all that I know and all that I want to be- and found something that brings me
so much joy, I only hope to continue to do it. I met the man I am going to
marry. Which brings me to my next point:
In less than three weeks I am getting
married. I wake everyday and feel like I am living a fantasy- with a man that
has helped me find my path. In three weeks time, I will say “I do” to someone
who has made so many of my dreams come true- to someone who may not completely
understand me, but who fully accepts me. To someone who protects me but allows
space for my dreams to grow…someone who waters the small seeds I plant
everyday. A dreamer like me- but an individual who teaches me an immeasurable
number of lessons about reality.
So here I am, displaying what I can bear to
expose of my soul, as I have been for the past four years. From England to
Spain to the US and finally Italy. Here I am again, but this time to say
goodbye. Because this book is over. Because its time to close this final
chapter with an appropriate farewell and begin a new one. Because as Semisonic
once sang, “Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.”
This book has lived its beginning, its
middle and now, its end. It has had its chapters….its small amusements in its
plots, its crises and one common theme- the words that come directly from my
heart…written through laughter and tears. Many characters have passed through
the pages of this blog, people who have touched me in one way or another. And
it has had its climax- or climaxes, I would like to think. There have been powerful
moments of doubt and shame. Periods of sadness that I thought would never end.
Moments of euphoria that I tried as hard as I could to hold on to.
And therefore, now, four years later…I
write to you, yet again, from the bottom of my heart, the tips of my fingers
and the inner depths of my spirit, with a few more wrinkles, a lot more wisdom,
and an irrepressible excitement about the future.
I want to say goodbye to those of you who
have accompanied me on my journey- who have shared your thoughts and ideas with
me- who have silently read my blog, either praising my endeavors or criticizing
my naiveté. I thank all of you- for sharing such a wonderful part of my life
with me- such a wonderful book, with countless distinctive chapters. I want to
take this opportunity to say goodbye to those of you I have lost…because
through the passage of time and widening of distance, through unfortunate
circumstances and simply growing out of each other, I was unable to hold on to
some of you. And there is no one to blame but myself…because I made all the
choices that lead to the consequences I live everyday. I left you – along with
certain parts of myself behind. And then there are those of you who have
continued with me on my path…who have remained constant companions on this
journey. And I thank you. And ask you to stay with me- because it is you who
bring life and color to every chapter.
As for the future, I have high hopes-
because that is all we can do. Is hope. And do our very best to never lose our
innocence, our curiosity and our enthusiasm. It is all we can do to stay true
to ourselves, and to continue to be open to the lessons that each day brings.
I still have yet to decide what the
equation is: how much of life is luck, how much is preparation and how much is
destiny- if destiny exists. But maybe I can take this occasion to impart a bit
of wisdom as well…a few lessons that I, myself, have learned on this journey:
I have learned that undoubtedly- positivity
breeds positivity. There will be countless people who try to bring you down; it
is up to you to not let them. Let the good ones in. Forget what your enemies
have done to you, but always remember their names. Trust no one- because those
we trust the most have the capacity to hurt us the deepest…at the same
time, remain open to love and friendship- because they are the elements that
make up the joys in life. Don’t be afraid to try- what’s the worst that can
happen? You fail. But you pick yourself up and try again- integrating the
lessons that you learned along the way. Living well is the best revenge. I truly
believe that anything is possible- if we believe in ourselves and have the
courage to risk. With great risk, comes great reward. Don’t let others define
you- don’t define yourself by where you come from, how you dress, who you know-
and never stop learning. Never regret… learn instead. Be selfless…sometimes. Be
selfish others. Be open to hurt- because if we close ourselves off for fear of
pain- we are closed off to pleasure as well. I learned that “the one” doesn’t
exist. There are many individuals we can love in this life…and the love of one
does not exclude the other. Trust
your instincts….they rarely lead you wrong. Family is wonderful- but they can
hurt you too. Money isn’t everything- it can’t buy happiness- but it does make daily
life a bit easier. There are no such things as adults, just big children. No
one is ever mature- we just pretend to be. Be honest, be open, be candid- many
people will criticize you but there is no other way to be. Live your
pain…because only through acceptance, can you reach delight. Sleep is
fundamental. Listen to music. Take time for yourself…and your passions. Live
for each day. It is oftentimes the simple things in life that are the most
extraordinary. Don’t burn bridges- but if a bridge catches fire, walk away.
Keep your head held high, even if you want to bury it under the covers forever.
Take time to mourn the losses you will encounter- but let the people who love you help you
recover. Dogs truly are man’s best friends- (especially Labradors). Change is
the only constant thing in life. Create value. Time heals all wounds. Don’t
always think before you speak- sometimes what comes out of your mouth will be the truest thing you've ever said. Everyone deserves a
second chance- but not a third. You don’t ever have to do anything, you always
have a choice. Take tons of pictures- you’ll be glad you did. First impressions
are generally wrong- but never make a bad one. Let go of expectations…they are
rarely met. Instead, enjoy the surprises. Never take anything for granted- you
don’t know when it will be taken away. Giving is far better than receiving- in
all cases. Sunshine and pizza cure most ailments. Laughter cures all of them.
Life is exceedingly brief- so live each moment to the fullest- or at least wake
up each morning with the intention to do so. Never diet- but live healthily.
Give in to momentary pleasures- we aren’t saints….stop pretending to be.
Apologize if you are sorry. Not when you aren’t. If you love someone, tell
them. Constantly. Learn the rules, even the unspoken ones- then play better.
Never stop dreaming.
Ever.
All my love,
Morgan
